


i woke up from the same dream (falling backwards, falling backwards)

by chocolatechipsformorale



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, On the Run, Taking care of eachother, between ep. 28-29, canon injury (but it's fine)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 09:53:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19354603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolatechipsformorale/pseuds/chocolatechipsformorale
Summary: Aubrey tries to pack rationally, tries to pack like she isn’t about to pass out or start sobbing again or burn, burn, burn from the churning emotions and stifled magic in her chest.or: amnesty lodge is abandoned





	i woke up from the same dream (falling backwards, falling backwards)

Even though Aubrey knows she can pack at the speed of light, she really wishes they didn’t have to today. She doesn’t know how long they’ll be gone or even if the things they leave behind are going to still be there when they return. She tries to pack rationally, tries to pack like she isn’t about to pass out or start sobbing again or burn, burn, burn from the churning emotions and stifled magic in her chest. She packs all her jeans and tee shirts, the hoodie that Dani bought her for Candlenights, and all her underwear in her large duffle bag, the bag her dad gave her for her eighteenth birthday when she said she wanted to take a couple years to travel after high highschool  She wraps her spare sneakers in one of the dirty shirts and shoves it near the bottom of the bag so she’ll have shoes when the snow melts. Dr. Bonker’s things get dumped into a plastic shopping bag, the shopping bag into the duffle. Aubrey walks to the bathroom, quickly as she can while favoring her leg, and grabs all of their soaps. The little first aid kit they keep under the bathroom sink. Both of the books she currently has on loan from Sylvain. There are other things, but as long as she has Doctor Bonkers, she’s probably fine now.   
“Hey, Dan?” Aubrey asks, “What can I do for you?”  
“I don’t—“ Dani takes a shuddering breath. Her hair is still damp from the waters of the hot springs and even though Aubrey knows that she’s no longer feral she still looks wild. Confused, terrified, and frazzled. “I don’t even know right now. There’s a chest in the closet with sketchbooks. They’re marked by year on the cover. I need all of the books from the 90s, there should be six or seven of them. Can you get the quilt too?” Aubrey pulls open the solid wood doors of their closet and opens the chest that sits on the floor next to their dresser as Dani frantically stuffs clothes into an old suitcase. The chest is full of dozens of sketchbooks and Aubrey sorts through them until she finds the softbound books Dani was looking for. She strips the bed of its quilted coverings, two timeworn cotton quilts that they always hang to dry because Dani’s afraid heat will break them. Both go into her duffle, stuffing it full.   
Aubrey pats her chest to confirm that the Flame Bright Pendant is still hanging around her neck, it is, and lifts Doctor Harris Bonker’s into his little bubble backpack carrier, which is yellow and has an acrylic bubble on the front that he can see through. Aubrey carefully puts the carrier on her back and hoists the duffle onto her shoulder.   
“Dani, honey,” Aubrey says. “We’ve got to go.”   
“Aubrey,” Dani says, snatching up a jewelry box from their side table, “Aubrey, I can’t lose it all again.”   
“I understand,” Aubrey says, and she means it. “You won’t,” She says even though she doesn’t know.

Aubrey hops into a forestry department truck. Duck isn’t there, but it feels safer than any of the other vehicles around by association. She gets a window seat and the condensation against her face is cool and wet. The cold is grounding and Aubrey is thankful for it. Dani sits in the middle, her hand linked tightly with Aubrey’s, and Jake climbs in behind her. Janelle climbs into the front passenger seat, curious but masking herself well.   
“Does anybody know where Mama is?” Aubrey asks.   
“She’s stayin’ here for now,” Jack says. “She’s hoping that she’ll be able to smooth over some of whatever’s gonna happen next. She says she’ll catch up later.”   
Aubrey nods tiredly. Sitting down was a mistake. She should have stood until they were ready to go because she’s exhausted. She also feels her leg getting a little sticky again in a way that feels dangerous.   
“Dani,” She says, “Don’t let me fall asleep.”   
Dani nods, giving Aubrey’s hand another tight squeeze.   
“Does anybody know who’s driving?” Aubrey asks.   
The driver’s door opens and a woman climbs into the truck. She’s about Duck’s age, tall with a round face. She has dark hair in two buns, low enough not to interfere with her hat. As soon as she’s seated she rolls Jake’s window down.  
Barclay leans down so that they can see his face a little better. He looks tired. Aubrey’s sure they all look tired.   
“Okay,” Barclay says, “Things are pretty bad right now, I’m not gonna lie. For tonight, Miss Divine here is going to take Aubrey to the Emergency Room, and then y’all are going to go somewhere safe to sleep. In the morning, we’re going to regroup at the Cryptonomica.”   
Aubrey tries to steady her breathing, feeling all of a sudden like she’s been burned. The Cryptonomica, of course, they would go to the Cryptonomica. Aubrey can go to the Cryptonomica without Ned. She has before.  
She can do it.   
Aubrey breathes in through her nose, out through her mouth, and doesn’t feel any better. “Where’s Duck?”   
Miss Divine twists around in her seat. “I don’t know that you and I have met yet Aubrey,” She says, “But I’m Juno. Duck has been my best friend since middle school. Even though he hasn’t told me about,” She gestures to the air, “You know, all this, he has told me about you. He told me that you’re special, that he was working on a project with you and Ned that he might need help with someday. I don’t know where he is right now, but you’ve got to know that I’m gonna do my best to help you guys.”   
Aubrey nods. She doesn’t trust Juno, she probably wouldn’t under ideal circumstances, but it’s enough to try. She turns back to Barclay. “Try to find Duck,“ She says, “Please.”   
“I’ll see all of you in the morning,” Barclay says, “Take care of each other.”

Aubrey gets a unit of blood, two liters of saline, a run of antibiotics, and a half dozen staples at the emergency room. The hospital is unnaturally busy, filled with trample injuries and general hysteria. Aubrey pushes for discharge as soon as her leg is stapled and they let her go as soon as her IVs are empty. She doesn’t sleep in the emergency room, but she does rest, sharing her hospital bed with Dani. Jake sits on a chair beside them and tosses his legs up on the bed so they all tangle together, feeling semi-safe in the closeness. Juno and Janelle sit by the door, watching down the hall. Aubrey doesn’t know about what kind of experience Juno has with guarding rebels, but she does the job well.   
Jake and Dani support Aubrey as they walk out of the Emergency Room as she has become too tired to stand without their support. Aubrey rests her head against Dani’s shoulder in the truck. Dani rubs her fingers across the base of Aubrey’s neck, just like any other normal day. It’s soothing and familiar but it also makes Aubrey’s chest ache because today? Today will never be just another ordinary day.   
The truck stops in front of a familiar apartment building, a little four unit place that might have been a grand old mansion in a previous life. For the first time, Aubrey admires how centrally located Duck’s apartment is. From here they could walk to Leo’s General store, Jolly Pirate Donuts, or the Cryptonomica. Even the Little Dipper is only a few blocks away.   
“There’s been an empty unit beside Duck’s for the past couple years,” Juno says. “It’s fully furnished, just wrapped in plastic. I’d say just crash at Duck’s place but—"  
“He only has one couch,” Aubrey says. “No, it’s a good idea. Thanks, Juno, for everything.”   
Juno smiles, “From what I’ve gathered so far tonight, I think I should be thanking you guys.”

The empty apartment is cold, but not unbearably so. Dani checks and the electricity is on so she turns on the heat. Jakes wraps an arm around Aubrey’s shoulder to help her explore the apartment. It’s a two bedroom, like Duck’s, but both of the bedrooms have plastic covered queen beds in them. The living room also has a couch and recliner, both also sealed in plastic. The unit feels oddly ethereal as if the plastic covering has filled the whole room with ghosts.   
“Aubrey,” Jake says as he helps her sit on the couch, “You doing okay?”   
“Tubular,” Aubrey says sarcastically.   
She and Jake look at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing. It’s irrational and stupid and feels very, very good. Dani and Janelle come to try and figure out whatever it is they’re laughing at and even if Aubrey had been asked, she wouldn’t know what to say. Dani stares at the two of them for a moment, her face pinched together before she too starts to giggle.   
“Okay,” Janelle says. “Okay. I’m just going to—“ She points towards one of the bedrooms and briskly leaves the room.   
Aubrey laughs until her lungs run out of air and then she laughs some more. Nothing is funny, not really, but she can’t stop. She takes big, gasping breaths to try and stop laughing and she does, sort of, because now she’s crying.   
Aubrey doesn’t cry often. She’s not against it, doesn’t feel that crying makes her weak or lesser, she just doesn’t. She hasn’t cried like this, awful, ugly, snotty, and painful, in a very long time. Jake wraps an arm around her shoulder and Dani sits down on her other side, rubbing her back.   
“We’ve got you,” She says quietly, “You’re okay. We’re gonna be okay.”

Aubrey sits on the floor of the shower, her leg wrapped in a trash bag, feeling like her soul has been scraped out of her with a spoon.   
“Hey Dan,” She says, “What’s the last thing you remember? Before waking up in the hot springs, I mean.”   
Dani pauses brushing her teeth. “I fell asleep next to you,” she says. “Then, I woke up in the springs.”   
“Were you scared?” Aubrey asks.  
“It wasn’t me,” Dani says. “There was nobody there to be scared.”

Aubrey wakes to a silent room in a near silent apartment. She wouldn’t say that Amnesty Lodge was loud, but she would say that it was busy. There was always somebody talking, running, or dropping something. It had all faded into a sort of gentle background noise, a comfortable hum that consumed Aubrey’s life. Now, she could maybe hear two quiet voices. That was it.   
She walks out into the living room and Dani and Janelle are sitting on opposite ends of the couch. Janelle sees Aubrey first, as Dani has her back turned to her.   
“Your friend Jake went out for breakfast,” She says, “He said he would be back by nine.”   
“Janelle and I were just talking about how things are going back in Sylvain,” Dani says, turning to face Aubrey, “She knows my little brother.”   
Aubrey plans on saying something like,  _oh that’s good_  or  _how is Quinn doing, is he safe?_ but instead what comes out of her mouth is “You changed your hair.”   
Dani changed her everything. Her face is shaped differently, where it had been round and soft before it is now narrow, with prominent high cheekbones. Her hair is long, straight, and dark brown instead of chin length, wavy, and blonde. Aubrey thinks she might be taller now too because the way she’s sitting is uncoordinated like she’s unsure what to do with the extra length in her legs. Dani stands and yes, she is  _significantly_  taller than she was last night. Aubrey has to look up at her to meet her eyes, which are brown and familiar.   
“Thought it might be a good idea,” Dani says, “Considering that so many people saw me last night. It felt like a good time for that Dani to disappear.”   
“You look a lot like Mama,” Aubrey says, “Barclay’s gonna freak.”   
“Every once and a while we’ll say the lodge is a family business,” Dani says, “I figured it would be alright if I looked the part. You going to be okay?”   
“No matter what you look like,” Aubrey says, “You always sound the same. I’m just fine.”

Aubrey’s been to the Cryptonomica hundreds of times. She’s helped run Saturday Night Dead; sat with Ned in an otherwise empty shop as he told her stories she was sure were fantastical. She had felt welcome here.   
Aubrey doesn’t know how to cross the threshold anymore.   
She was here yesterday, boiling, burning, screaming, and she never saw Ned alive again. She doesn’t feel like she should go inside like she shouldn’t be allowed into the space anymore. Her anger was justified but it doesn’t make her feel any better, not right now.   
“I’m going to go in,” Aubrey says out loud, even though she’s been stalling on the sidewalk with Jake for the past five minutes. Dani and Janelle went inside to start some sort of debriefing but Jake had said he’d stay as long as she needed. Silent support just in case she needed somebody.    
“You’re all good,” Jake says, “Don’t sweat it.”   
Aubrey takes a deep breath and walks through the door.   
The exhibits are untouched but only about two-thirds of Ned’s personal things are still up on the walls or behind the desk. There are half full moving boxes scattered around the lobby, some of them tipped over end. Looking at them makes Aubrey feel a little nauseous because she knows she’s what triggered this.   
“Aubrey!”   
Aubrey startles, looking up. She has just a second to open her arms before she is folded into a warm hug. Aubrey relaxes.    
“Oh thank god,” She says after a long moment, her voice muffled by Duck’s shoulder.   
“You okay?” Duck asks.   
“I’ll manage,” Aubrey says. “How about you?”  
“Nothing some Advil can’t fix.” Duck says as he releases her.   
This morning, Duck looks old. Duck has always felt just a little bit old to Aubrey, she’s teased him about being her Dad’s age a time or two, but today he looks worn. Tired. Like the last couple days have peeled away a little more of his youth.   
“Come on,” Duck says, “Barclay and Leo are in the back with Minerva and Janelle. We’re trying to think of what to do next.”   
“Who’s Minerva?” Aubrey asks,  
“An old friend,” Duck says, “She’s kind of like my Janelle.”   
“Cool,” Aubrey says. They go to the back room, where Barclay, Leo, Janelle, and an  _incredibly_ muscular woman that Aubrey assumes must be Minerva are huddling around Ned’s comparatively very small desk.   
“Mornin’ Aubrey,” Barclay says, “How’s the leg?”   
“Still attached,” Aubrey says.   
Barclay nods distractedly. He sorts through the pile of papers on the desk, he appears to have started several lists and finds a white envelope near the bottom of the pile.   
“Here,” He says, “This is yours.”   
Aubrey takes it. The envelope is sealed and has her name on the front in Ned’s enormous scrawl. He was leaving, she told him to leave, and he wrote her a goodbye. She holds it to her chest like it is a fragile, precious thing.   
“Okay,” Aubrey says, her voice rough, “What are we going to do next?”

**Author's Note:**

> y'all i really wanted to push to get this one out before thursday when griffin tosses it so i just wrote it in 24 hours! that works fine! title from pluto by sleeping at last. you can find me at [@warptimeandspace](https://warptimeandspace.tumblr.com/) on tumblr and you're always welcome to prompt me!


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